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Scissor Bill, by Joe Hill

Song: Scissor Bill
Lyrics: Joe Hill

Music: to the tune of "Steamboat Bill"
Year: c.1913
Country: USA

You may ramble 'round the country anywhere you will,
You'll always run across the same old Scissor Bill.
He's found upon the desert, he is on the hill,
He's found in every mining camp and lumber mill.
He looks just like a human, he can eat and walk,
But you will find he isn't when he starts to talk.
He'll say, "This is my country," with an honest face,
While all the cops they chase him out of every place.

Scissor Bill, he is a little dippy,
Scissor Bill, he has a funny face,
Scissor Bill should drown in Mississippi,
He is the missing link that Darwin tried to trace.

And scissor Bill, he couldn't live without the booze,
He sits around all day and spits tobacco juice.
He takes a deck of cards and tries to beat the Chink!
Yes, Bill would be a smart guy if he only could think
And Scissor Bill, he says, "This country must be freed
From Niggers, Japs and Dutchman and the gol durn Swede."
This song was originally posted on

He says that every cop would be a native son
If it wasn't for the Irishman, the sonna fur gun.
Scissor Bill, the "foreigner" is cussin;
Scissor Bill, he says: "I hate a Coon";
Scissor Bill is down on everybody
The Hottentots, the bushmen and the man in the moon.
This song was originally posted on

Don't try to talk your union dope to Scissor Bill,
He says he never organized and never will.
He always will be satisfied until he's dead,
With coffee and a doughnuts and a lousy old bed.
And Bill, he says, he gets rewarded thousand fold,
When he gets up to heaven on the streets of gold.


But I don't care who knows it, and right here I'll tell,
If Scissor Bill is goin' to Heaven, I'll go to Hell.
Scissor Bill, he wouldn't join the union,
Scissor Bill, he says, "Not me, by Heck!"
Scissor Bill gets his reward in Heaven,
Oh! sure. He'll get it, but he'll get it in the neck.


1 - Joe Hill on Wikipedia.

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